Tomorrow would have been my Momma’s 92nd birthday. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think of her and wish we could be together. I sometimes think of what her final hours would have been like for her and the joy she would have had entering through the gates of heaven. The following is fictional of course but, it is how one might imagine those final hours on earth…….
All that was left of my life was my desire to stay with my husband and children and it was love that helped me stay as long as I did. The pain that wracked my body increased every day to the point that even their love could no longer hold me here. I knew days before my passing that my time with them would soon be gone. I told my daughter I was ready to go, even though it was hard for her to hear she understood and didn’t beg me to stay.
I went to bed as normal that Thursday night and it seems I was neither here nor completely there but, rather a dream like place where I felt at peace. Over my left shoulder I watched the events of my life unfold. Happy quiet moments of contented warmth filled me with a desire to turn around and be a part of them again. My children small with outstretched arms begging to be held – how could I not pick them up and give them the comfort they so needed. My dear sweet husband standing behind them with tears streaming down his face – our love was deep for one another and lasted a lifetime.
My tears welled in my eyes for I knew now I would not wake on Friday morning. Oh , how could I leave them when they need me now more than ever. I had to look away the anguishing pain of saying goodbye too much for me to bear. As I did I felt the soft velvet like wings of an angel caress my left cheek begging me to see what was before me. Do I dare gaze upon this place knowing if I do I cannot return. I begged the angels – Do not leave me. Although they said not a word I felt safe under their wings as they led me through the dense fog to the shores of the crystal sea. As we made our way around it I could see a shadowy figure in the distance and he appeared to be holding out his hand to me. There was a warmth there I cannot describe, but, as I took his hand it became clear it was Jesus Christ. I felt as though my heart would burst with joy to think my Savior would be at heavens gate to greet me – me a lowly sinner. We walked along streets of gold but, not like any I had ever seen, they were pure and sparkled like the stars. As we approached the throne of God an amazing light of love passed through me and I was swaddled in Gods love as if I were a newborn babe. My tears flowed like rain first in sadness and then in joy. And then he spoke to me. No more tears my child for I love you more than any earthly being ever could and with that he gently wiped my face and whispered in my ear – welcome home child I’ve waited a long time for you…..